I played guitar with Jimmy Buffett

Jimmy Buffett passed away the other day. Everyone's been sharing Jimmy stories in tribute. Here's mine.

In 1995, I was living in Houston, Texas. My partner Karen came down to visit me for a week or so. I was taking her back to the airport on Saturday morning when we heard an announcer on the radio station I listened to, KHMX MIX 96.5. Jimmy Buffett had been scheduled to play 3 concerts this weekend in Miami, but there was a hurricane coming, so he had made a last minute switch on Friday to play in Houston at the Cynthia Mitchell Woods pavilion in the Woodlands. The first concert was that evening, and he would play again on Monday. This was literally last minute, so they were on an ad blitz to fill the outdoor pavilion.

MIX were also hosting a pre-party that evening, from 4 pm to 7 pm, prior to the 8 pm show. As part of this tour, Jimmy was giving away a Gibson Les Paul guitar at every concert. They were holding a contest in each city to find the best guitarist in the city. That individual would come up on stage and play with Jimmy during the performance of "Cheeseburger in Paradise". Normally, this contest would go on for a few weeks prior to the concert, but they couldn't do that on such short notice in Houston. So, they said, they wanted folks to show up at the pre-party that day and play the song. Whomever played it best would win the guitar and get to play with Jimmy.

Karen said "You should go and try." I had brought my guitar down to Houston with me, and I thought, why not? I got home from the airport, and immediately bought a ticket for the concert that evening (I could not make the Monday concert). I had never played Cheeseburger before, so by lunch, had found and printed out a lyric and chord sheet. Thankfully, Jimmy likes 3 chord songs, because I kinda suck as a guitarist. I spent the next 3 hrs memorizing the song, and even tweaking the lyrics slightly to tie to the party's location.

I left my house at 3, and drove an hour to the Woodland's pre-party location, guitar in hand. I arrived almost exactly when the party started at 4 pm; there were only about 3-4 other people at this big outdoor venue. I told them I was here for the Buffett guitar contest. They had no idea what I was talking about. Not a great start. I considered leaving and coming back just for the concert.

At 4:30 pm, the MIX DJ I had heard this morning showed up. He squared away that there WAS a competition, and spent the next hour arranging a mics and amps with the party's DJ.

At 5:30 pm, I was corralled with the other 11 guitarists that had showed up to compete. Here's what they explained to us:

• We would each in turn sing and play Cheeseburger in front of the assembled crowd;
• The crowd, by applause, would "vote" on the best performers;
• They needed 3 people as finalists for each of that night and Monday night;
• Those 3 finalists would then go to the Cynthia Mitchell Woods Pavilion before the show, and perform for the crowd before the doors opened;
• Same deal; the one person who wowed that crowd was the winner, got the guitar, and got to play that evening with Jimmy.

So I had a 1 in 11 chance to win at this stage, and a 6 in 11 chance of being a finalist. I thought those were good odds.

My odds got better as I listened to the others play. I swear 3 of them had never heard the song before. Two others were terrible. Two guys (I don't remember their names; I'll call them John and Fred) were GOOD.

So I got up and did an OK job in front of about 500 people that were at the party by then. I think I was voted 3rd or 4th, but no matter. I was in!

After the contest, at 6:30 pm, they pulled the 6 finalists together, and we had a meeting. The MIX folks were worried, but it turned out that, of the 6 of us, only 3 were available for this evening (I was one of them), and the other 3 were only available for Monday. And John was good for Saturday, while Fred was good for Monday.

John, I, and our 3rd (I'll call him Andy) were scooped up with our guitars into a big limo, given VIP ID stickers, and whisked over to the Cynthia Mitchell Woods Pavilion. We were brought in back stage though the artists entrance, and escorted back stage to the side stage before the entrance where we would perform. Around here, things started to fall off the rails.

At 7 pm, the Stage Manager came to us, Gibson Les Paul guitar in hand. He told us we had been a bit misinformed. Yes, the winner would get to go up on stage and play with Jimmy and the band. But we would not sing. Our job was to play the short, 14 second, 8 bar guitar solo in the song. We could strum along to that point, but were made clear that the sound guy would have our guitar basically turned off until the solo, and would turn it off again as soon as the solo was done. AND we would be playing it on the Les Paul.

In addition, the contest was to find the best guitarist in the city. So for the competition we were about to have in front of the awaiting crowd, they would play a recorded version of the song with the solo taken out. We would get an 8 bar intro, play our 8 bars on the Les Paul, and a couple of bars outro. The crowd would decide who played the better solo, and that person would win.

Around here, I should mention a few things;

1. I'm not a lead guitarist. I can't play solo riffs on a guitar;
2. I'd never picked up an electric guitar before that moment, much less played one
3. I'd already performed today in front of the biggest crowd I have ever played for, or even performed for.

We draw straws: Andy will play first, then John, then me.

Andy plays about as badly I'm sure I will. John kills it, as expected; GREAT and cool and inventive playing. I can't beat him. So as I'm watching him, I'm thinking: what do I do? Then I remember: I'm a trained improv comedian. I've done improv comedy in front of 300 people, and made them laugh easily. What's the line from Gladiator? "Win the crowd!" I can't out play him, but I can out entertain him.

The guitar tech gives me a few tips regarding settings that are meaningless to me. I'm thinking, "Darn, this guitar is heavy". I go up on stage – and see I'm facing a crowd of about 2,500 mostly drunk people. I'm first a bit shocked, but then realize partying drunk people plays into my game.

The intro comes on, then my solo starts. I leap – for 13 seconds, that felt like a week – into my best Chuck Berry imitation. I'm duck walking (badly). I'm laying on my back playing with my teeth (badly). But the crowd is in stitches. It's the silliest thing I could think of, and the crowd LOVES it. My guitar playing sucked, but I'm cheered off the stage louder than John was.

The MC comes up. Round one "voting" eliminates Andy, and the crowd's cheers are loudly in my favour. The MC takes Andy out of the vote, and asks the crowd for who they like better: John or me. Cheers for John. ROARS for me. I think I've got this.

Then the MC steps in and says "Remember folks, we're looking for the best GUITARIST. Who's a better GUITAR PLAYER? Let's hear your cheers for John!" A good cheer. "What about Derek's guitar playing?" A good cheer, too (I think it's louder for me). But the MC pics John. The better man did win.

In 20/20 hindsight, I could NOT have done the Chuck Berry thing on stage with Buffet. So the right guy won. too.

I was a bit dejected, and we were escorted back stage – but there was Jimmy and the Band, huge smiles on their faces. Jimmy says to me "That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!" and gives me a bear hug. The band all shake my hand. John gets whisked away by the stage manager to prep for the show. Jimmy says to Andy and me "Grab your guitars and come join us in the warm up".

We go backstage into a back room and we play along (as best we can) as the band plays a few easy classics to prep for the show. I remember Come Monday, Changes in Latitudes and Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw. I shake his hand one last time, and I'm escorted back to the limo.

A bunch of the other competitors from the pre-party are at the limo; they caught the finals. Everyone's shaking my hand and laughing, telling me what a great job I did. I had a good ticket for the show, but all of us have been given comped passes to a VIP area. We go into the Pavilion – there are 15,000 people there, so I guess the last minute ad blitz worked – and have a big space to ourselves on the grass. We get there just as the lights go on and the show starts. The first half of the show is great, and there's a 15 min intermission.

We come back after intermission. Buffett comes out to big cheers. He starts off "The shows on this tour are being sponsored by Gibson USA. We're giving away a Gibson Les Paul Guitar at every show. The way we do that is to have a competition (the big video board is showing film of folks in the competition from other cities on the tour). We get the best guitar players from all over the city, and make them have a play-off. Well, that play-off was tonight, just before the show. And I saw from back stage one of the best and funniest performances of our whole tour, and I just had to share it with you"

And he plays the video of me. I had no idea they were taping it.

Now 15,000 people are howling with laughter at me.

Jimmy continues: "And he's with us in the audience tonight! If you liked that as much as I did, give it up for Derek Ryder!"

And a spotlight blasts onto me in the darkness; I dutifully stand and wave. And I get a standing ovation from 15,000 people. 

He then introduces John, and they play Cheeseburger to start the 2nd half of the show. John does great; WAY better than I could have done. The best man really did win. A couple of minutes after he plays, John joins us in the seating area, complete with his new guitar. It's a beaut, and it's signed by Jimmy.

At the end of the show, we head back to the limo that will take us all back to our cars parked where the pre-party was. The folks from MIX give us some souvenirs, which I still have. I got a Gibson USA and a MIX 96.5 t-shirt. That MIX shirt has been coming with me to Maui ever since.

I got a MIX 96.5 sticker, which lives on my guitar case.

Aside from my memories, my most prized possession from that night is the VIP sticker that they used to get me back stage, and also into the VIP seating area. It, too, has lived on my guitar case for the last 28 years. 

Domino College was the name of the tour; it was promoting his "Barometer Soup" album. Domino College was actually a song on the "Boats, Beaches, Bars and Ballads" box set released in 1992.

I went into work on Monday and was basically mobbed. At least a dozen co-workers were at the Saturday show. Who knew?

I'm sorry Jimmy's gone. I only owned 3 of the 50 albums he released, but they were all indeed "Songs I Knew by Heart". I loved that he was a pilot (he owned 6 planes when he died), and I also enjoyed the two books of his that I read. From my 30 minutes in your world with you, you were a really great guy. RIP, Pirate. Thanks for being so nice and letting me play with you.